Hmm can we get some more details? Is he working or has he effectively couch surffed his way into your home and you are now supporting him. If that's the case you are enabling him to do this and some ground rules need to be formed. It is your house, internet and computer you get to dictate how they are used.

Now if he has just moved in, does work, and has his own computer etc. you still have the right to lay down some rules. Do let him play, but he needs to spend time with you too, he is your boyfriend right?

From your tone I assume you have not tried the game or know much about it other than he plays it allot. His friends on line are real and he may gain some of the benefirts friendships provide, but it should not be your only social life. How many hours a day does he play? I would compare game time to TV time. If he would otherwise be watching tv with or without you it is fair to him to say that that amount of time is reasonable for game time. However if he is in instances those can be like going to practice for a sport, it is a group effort and it's harder to break away, but it is still possible. Form a schedule with him. Every other day or whatever you agree to for game time vs other time.

He can still be really good and have a real life. My brother has both. High level end game group instances and cool gear and a buzzing social life and work. He has a schedule and even though he may log in every day even on his off days to check his auctions etc. He does other things.

The difference between raiding and not raiding is that he is probably not commited to a group. When he is not raiding he is probably playing solo which means he can turn it off any time, compared to being commited to a group effort and not wanting to let every one down in that group.

When you play solo you tend to be "grinding". Grinding means you are focusing on a goal that requires lots of repetative stuff. For example, you can gain different levels of reputation with groups which will allow you to purchase new and exciting things. That's called grinding rep which usually requires killing thousands of a certain type of monster they dislike. You can turn this arround on him and say "how about grinding some rep with your girlfriend." Rep starts at neurtal and goes to friendly, honored, revered, then exalted. Or it can be taken away and go backwards and down to unfriendly, and hated. You can use this to continue that statement to say "... see what heppens when you get to friendly." It's major geek speak but it'll be his language. Or how about grinding some muscles in the gym. Or grinding some yardwork. I saw a t-shirt that said "I'm not shopping, I'm grinding rep with my girlfriend." There are some fun t-shirts at cafepress.com, just do a search under gaming you can find "WOW stole my boyfriend" and wear it when he is playing.

The game tracks how much you play too. Ask him to type /played to show you down to the minute how much time has been spent playing that character. You can use this as your time card. Track from day to day. If he says he doesn't have a problem he shouldn't have a problem showing you that whenever you want to see it.

If he says he just needs to check his acution house that should not take more than 5 minutes. It's like e-bay but for weapons and such.

Good Luck!