I am newly wed of about a couple of months. A couple of nights ago I had a huge fight with my husband, and wow was part of it. We had been fighting prior to him starting the computer up. I asked him to log off so I could tell him why I was the jealous person that I am now. It was because of all the flirting I found out about that he was doing while we were engaged to another married woman (another wow player), among other things. (she ended up in a divorce during our engagement). I know the many possibilities that can happen when one is playing wow, one gets and builds relationships that otherwise wouldn't happen in the real world. Even when he turned the monitor off, he would on occassion hit the keyboard to not lose connection. He accepted a group in the middle of the conversation.

I lost it after that point. I am not a violent type of person, but I turned into the Incredible Hulk shortly after. I disconnected the internet, and kicked the computer as hard as I could. At that moment I wanted him to feel all the rage I had pent up to myself for years. I gotta say it felt soo damn, deliciously great to release all that pent up frustration indirectly to wow, and what it had done in part to our relationship.

I have played the game, and quite frankly I have enjoyed the times I have played alongside with my husband. What i don't like is the isolation, doubt, jealousy, and insecurities the non-constant wow player develops over time. Especially when you don't have a clue to the types of bonds that are being developed while in the real world he tells you that he loves you very much. I was soo upset that I said I was leaving him so he could play all the wow he wanted. I should not have said that, I don't regret kicking the computer. I've searched, waited, and re-searched and there is not an ounce of regret.

Shortly after the fight, he went back to playing wow while I had a long girl talk with my sister. I may one day resume and play wow with my husband. I don't think I will fully embrace it because I don't fully trust it. He said since he married me, that all the flirting has stopped. And that I should take his word for it. For now that is all I can take, is his word for it. I will know if it happens again by my intuition that didn't fail me all those times before..

It is now in the past, foolish and immature as it may be, it would in my imaginaery world be just if just for a change he would have felt all the pain, humilitation, anger, and betrayal I have endured from all the years past from his actions. Instead in the real world I am trying to move past all the negative actions, and try to protect and repair all the positive that is left in my heart for him and us.